Translated by CJ
Chapter 83: Fei Yan’s Endless Misery
“Ye Furen, is the Young Master well?”
Hearing an aggrieved voice beside her, Long Mo Er rigidly turned towards where the sound was coming from. “I… Fei Yan… That is, he is well.” Long Mo Er tried her best to be considerate as she replied.
“Ye Furen, please don’t worry about me. I merely wanted to know how he is doing. That’s all. Please don’t be distressed. I only… It’s just been quite a while since I last saw him…” Fei Yan smiled weakly.
A few months ago, she was certain that the Young Master would never leave her and forever stay by her side. Even though she knew he would never marry her, he came every day at Bai Hua Fang to see her. She was content with the way things were, she was, after all, a kept woman. Even if the Young Master considered her as a confidant, she didn’t hope for me. When he shares his troubles with her, she felt happy… Because she was the only person who saw the Young Master that way.
When she heard that the Young Master was taking a wife, she felt distressed thinking that he would stay away from her from then on. But he assured her that the marriage was merely a formality and that he was unlikely to feel strongly towards the other woman. When the Young master left his house on his wedding night and appeared at Bai Hua Fang, she thought she had won. At that time, she felt so happy. It seemed she was becoming more close to achieving her happiness.
But the joy she felt that night was short-lived!
The next morning when they took a stroll, they walked together but there was a small distance between them. And like that, the small distance between them grew and became bigger and bigger, that she couldn’t even touch him nor know his true heart.
She would always remember that early morning when the Young Mistress came, she was so innocent and friendly, so different yet so warm when she asked, “Are you Fei Yan? Bai Hua’s Fei Yan? Ye Che’s confidant?” Without any bit of disdain or resentment, the Young Mistress simply asked excitedly.
That straightforwardness and pureness was something that she, a kept woman, never had and will never be able to match. From the moment the Young Mistress appeared, she knew she might have already lost!
And she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it…
From that moment, she obediently stepped back, resigned to her fate and waited silently from behind.
Since that morning when she and the Young Master separated, she waited every day and looked forward to seeing him again and ended up asking about his whereabouts from other patrons and with each time, her heart breaking.
Affection, how can such a simple word be enough to destroy her, like a nearly exhausted flame!
Soon, she thought that the Young Master would never return and her heart almost gave up all hope. Then, he came. She was extremely happy that he did not forget her… that he still remembers her. Fei Yan remained as Fei Yan but her Young Master has changed.
His indifference confused her and she knew his heart has completely left here.
Her heart shattered…
Her sorrow became endless…
He… will never be hers.