Everyone wants to call as “beautiful”, “good-looking” especially women even now days men do care about their appearance. everyone perception about “beautiful” and “good looking” have different standard in every country and culture but widely, we tend to follow Korean standard.
the women called beauty when they fulfill some criteria such as V shape face, white color skin, big eyes, slim leg, etc while men should has nice body, more than 170cm high, etc. to say, human being can’t be standardize since we are create in unique way by our God. the different in skin tone, eyes color, body shape are our strengths and uniqueness but because some people, we force to accept the “standard” which is something “fool” I may say.
I feel so sad for those choose the extreme way such as eat disorder. last time, I was talking about cosmetic surgery which I though only those brave enough to do so. Now, I would like to share about eating disorder, the other extreme things that would take by those seems to be hopeless.
Eat disorder is not a new thing. even this kind of eating pattern was adapt long long ago, especially those with high rank or famous or rich ladies who were suffered from eat disorder.
this time, I gonna bringing up about bulimia nervosa and anorexia, two famous eating disorder out from many others.
Some information are gather from internet, friends experienced and my own observation due these past years. The fact, without my knowing, I was one of the eating disorder suffers or you may call, I am fulfill the criteria.
Eating disorder are conditions defined by abnormal eating that may involve insufficient or excessive food intake. eating disorder commonly divided into bulimia and anorexia nervosa which eating excessive and throwing (binge and purging) and restrict food intake even go the stake of starving.
There are lot of causes on why people go to be bulimia or anorexia. some resources say it affect by environmental, biological and pyscological abnormalities. according for me, bulimia and anorexia is coming from the state of mind and of course the environmental influences.
in this post, I will share more about someone who suffer from bulimia and anorexia till being cured. to be honest, it not easy to cure eating disorder since it is combination of mental and body. as for me, no one really free from eating disorder but they might improve their health.
Bulimia Nervosa
One of my friend shared her story as bulimia suffer. she just over weight but not so serious. the problem was her environment and people surrounded her, made this poor girl took extreme thought as bulimic, the victim of bulimia nervosa.
she is someone who loves eating, she enjoys her eating time and food is one of her pleasure. I thought know her very well since we be friend from we were very young but I never knew this happy girl actually one of bulimic.
I found out her bulimia disorder years ago when she excused to toilet and quietly throwing in the middle of eating. that time to be honest, I did not have any idea about eating disorder since none provide this kind of information. one day, I watched oprah show discussed about eating disorder and I just realised those symtoms were match to my friend.
I came to talk to my friend, but she avoid even ignored me. I found she changed lots from her body shape to her mental. she lacks in smiling, her body thinner day to day and she most of time in bad mood.
Then…
after sometimes, when I saw her changes which shocked me. her weight was half than mine since I was over weight too. 38kg, height 165cm was so scary. she was looked alike zombie than human. her skin pale, easy bruise and hair loss. even she lost about 40kgs in three months, she never want to admit she was sick. until one day her body could not tolerate anymore. she being hospitalized for week. doctor said she was malnutrient. her parent said nothing wrong with food since she show big appetite in eating but her body become thinner and thinner. her mom even asked doctor, did she has problem with her digestion or may be her metabolism or anything since malnutrient was something impossible happen.
Finally, she admited that she got excessive eating and throwing to avoid food get into her body. she could not choose being anorexia because she loves to eat but she also did not want to get over weight. I tried to advice her, it not about choosing which is the best eating disorder neither bulimia nor anorexia might take her life.
she was sick being called fat and being object to make fun. I understannd her feeling since I also a victim of bullying when high school. being fat was not nice especially when you extremely over weight.
beside her environment, she thought it would good if she could change to be slimmer and thinner so she might look more beautiful. she envy with those who has slimmer body and could wear many nice clothes. her mind, her ideas and her thought just made her to take difficult and extreme path which might take her life.
she stop to over eat and throwing but she said she never really cure because some in time, she might forcing her self to throw out when she felt she gain weight. her weight is an ideal 46kgs and I can say she handle her life better through sharing and consulting. this process never easy for her and her family. she tooks years for today her. I happy she shares her story to me and allowed me to share through my blog.
Anorexia nervosa
this is my personal experienced. I never thought I might go as eat disorder or without my knowing my eating pattern actually is anorexia eating pattern. I thought I was having the healthy diet, cutting my fat but one day someone asked me, was I having eating disorder?
I said, I was not since I thought I did not over eat and throwing even I having my meals everyday.
I was over exercised and restrict my calorie in take about 500cals a day which is not normal because people usually have 1200 cals to 1600cals. I spent about 4 to 6 hours a day for exercise which divided into some time.
I only took a glass of chocolate low fat milk (150cals) and an apple for lunch and dinner. sometimes I skipped my dinner. while I never skipped my exercise, even at work place I tried to move lots.
when I loss weight, I thought it was because my diet and my work load plus my stress because my routine (job and school). then, I never thought I was anorexia since I really did not loss drastical just like my friend did.
my doctor did asked me to diet but I might go extreme without my knowing. when I got my ideal weight 48kgs, I realised something changed on me. my body ease to bruise, I ease got sick and lack of energy.
My mom thought I was got serious illness. she brought me to doctor when heard “that someone” said I might have eating disorder or kind of things. doctor confirmed that my diet went wrong and I was in malnutrient state. this was explaining why I loss weight but my skin pale, my blood pressure low, lacks of energy, I even sicker than the fat me.
to say, until today, I don’t even think I might anorexia but the signs just show me, yeah I was. so, I change to have “proper” eating due to my doctor and mom even sometime I still skip my meals. funny things, when I was stressed, I might not eat because without my realised, I ever skipped my meals three days in row. I did not feel want to eat and I did not hungry.
I hope this post will give you some ideas about eating disorder. due to my surfing in internet and reading book, eat disorder occur, most of time because someone feel discomfort with theirselves. they might think theirselves less worthy and force to be alike “standard” in order to be accept by society. in my case, I just could not manage stressful very well. beauty is something more than having good body but I also don’t want to be hypocrite that I wish to have slimmer body out of it, I just want to be happy with myself, my body and what I have.
to be honest, when you are trying find job in Indonesia, the slimmer is win over compare to the smart fat girl. apperance get into very important when comes to working qualification. I do feel up set and fed up when reading job recruitment. they stated such as, the applicant should be “good looking”, good body posture as the main criteria while the skill might go to second or third point.
other job advertisement that made me laugh was accountant, three years ago. I was read on local news paper. they made so funny qualification such as the applicant should be 165cm, weight 40kgs, good looking, have good taste of fashion, graduated from university majoring finance or accounting, and able manage in stress environment. at first point when I read the qualification, I might think they were finding model or someone works in showbiz or art but after I read “meticulous” they wanted to find accountant but the qualification similar to find model. it ridiculous!
azurro4cielo 