I heard lot of people said that one of the key success of marriage is knowing to compromise, which I agree too because I believe in order to have sustainable and long last relationship, interaction between two people are alike dancing tango, it needs to nurture mutual understanding, build healthy communication, many more and compromise are one among.
Before we go further let’s talk about what is compromise and what is PUA (Pick Up Artist)
According to Cambridge dictionary the definition of compromise is an agreement in an argument in which the people involved reduce their demands or change their opinion in order to agree. Compromise is an agreement between two sides who have different opinions in which each side gives up something it had wanted.
According to wikipedia a pickup artist (commonly abbreviated PUA) is a person who practices finding multiple sexual partners. Such a person purportedly abides by a certain system deemed effective by that community in his attempts to seduce partners.
As you read the title I have put PUA and unhealthy compromise as things that shouldn’t be happened in marriage because often PUA and unhealthy compromise in marriage are alike eggs and chickens. One can be caused or reason of the beginning to take a toll on your mental and physical health which lead to bad marriage life for one side or both.
Compromise is about some things here and there to make a relationship successful. These healthy compromises can teach you a lot as a person for personal growth. But often, we are misinterpreting about compromise by adopting and choosing unhealthy compromise which may end up getting PUA by the other party.
Healthy compromise is alike two people are working together as team, each person has to give and take once in a while, knowing when one is stepped back and stepped forward. The idea of compromising is about a positive thing—an opportunity to meet in the middle and come to a conclusion that satisfies both parties, however, it can often be viewed in a negative context, equated with giving something up, self abandoning or sacrifice.
Healthy compromise is about balancing as well fair-treating for both parties in order to make marriage working, staying last. In many cases, compromise is turned to be an opportunity to be PUA by one side which actually unhealthy compromise that might be disaster soon for the marriage.
Understanding unhealthy compromise, according to nayaclinic, compromise does not mean that you need to go against your values, core beliefs, boundaries, or discount or invalidate your own feelings. Just remember that it is still okay and important to know when to say no. Healthy compromise is mutual (fair for both) while unhealthy compromise is disproportionate (often sacrifice one sides).
Healthy compromise is about two people willingly to give up something together not just one of you. Marriage is two people who coming from two different perspectives, finding a mutual solution to a problem. Two people make effort and adjustments to resolve the impasse with mutual desires to make the relationship work again.
In contrast, unhealthy compromise is often one-sided. Unhealthy compromise mostly means that one person is doing the heavy lifting, giving up things that are important to them or adjusting their values over and over again.
Therefore there are things that shouldn’t be compromised and happened in marriage
- Compromising on self resepect
Never compromise on self-respect, whether it’s in your everyday life with other people or an important relationship. It is very important to realize your self-worth and not let anybody make you feel less about yourself. Let’s not confuse self-respect with ego. Self-respect is the respect you have for yourself while ego is the elevated sense of your own understanding of who you are as a person.
If you compromising on self respect moreover agreed to what your partner said about you then you might be PUA. - No teamwork involved
Just as mentioned, compromise is about two people who are willingly to give up on something for better, if this is only happened for one side, then it is not compromised. Furthermore if only one who does the effort to change, without the other gets involve, it will only cause a resentment and unfair. - Your professional goals, family, friends, passion
You have to understand that your goals are as important as your relationship. It’s preferable to keep your personal and professional life separate. Your dreams are as important as your partner’s. In a healthy relationship, you should support each other’s endeavors, no matter what they are. Know that a good partner will always support you with your ambitions and won’t ask you to compromise with your dreams. And you should do the same. This is also same with your friends and family. A good partner should care about your family as how you care about them. - Your individuality
Too much dependence on others can sometimes leave you feeling helpless and unworthy. If your partner feels they must constantly be there for you, it may also restrict your relationship. Make sure you enjoy your independence, especially when it comes to money. Being financially independent as a married woman is very important. You don’t have to compromise on your independence to save your relationship.
Healthy compromise is about finding a healthy balance and bridging the gap so both partners feel heard, understood, and can agree to an effective solution. In the long run, this balance will lead to a healthier relationship and positive growth. It’s very important for every individual to stay who they are.
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