This is one of personal post, I would like to share, little about my thought and what I ever experienced as little girl.
Yesterday I found my old albums, I felt so many emotions. I was cheerful and happy little girl during my middle school. I was fat little girl but I had smile and laugh lots because I had showered by mom and dad love.
I never bother as little fat girl back then until I reach seven grade (junior high). I didn’t feel different as human being just because I fat. My life changed since I entered my new school at the age of 12 years old (I moved from small school to better metropolitan school in my town)
I was little girl who has bunch of dreams. when my mom asked me, what would I be when I grow up? lightly, I might say I want to be teacher, I want to be actress, I want to be engineer and many more (different answers for same question) but my life was so colorful as little girl.
until…
Time passes without I realized, I grew from little fat girl with smile to unhappy young lady. who changed me? who I should blame?
Simply, I can’t point someone or group of people and make them as “black sheep” or blame them as who should take responsibility because “my today self”. I realized, everyone will having changing in their life whether bad or good it back to the individual-self.
I never told my mom and dad about being victim of bullying when I moved to my new school.
I never told my mom and dad how I feel so alone as teenager.
what I did during that time was found a way to survive as bullying victim, I smile less, laugh less, I studied harder, and my life become loner than before. I have difficulty to make friend in real life that’s why I start to blog and go online.
I seriously against bullying in school environment and I feel pity to the bullier because they can’t find any pleasure. The bullier should ashamed to themselves because they not more or less than trash. They might thought they are beautiful or good looking or strong or so powerful because they get bullied “someone” or “minority”
The fact, bullier only a group of TRASH that really should be pity of. others can get pleasure by doing other beneficial stuffs while bullier are tied up in chasing or torturing someone/minority.
My life changes lot but all the changes still keeps me in very positive path. ever became bullying victim, I respect others more and find the differences as something new and worth to explore. I have faith in Karmic law (thinking every bad will get bad while good will be award good). I am not hypocrite that sometimes I might be so childish and selfish but I try to view everything in many aspects and corner. I’m not perfect person but at least I do the best I could.
After I graduated from senior high school, I “arranged” my self , try to get connect to world, fix my social life. I got work in my family business as warehouse staff (where none of the staff know who I am). My mom said it would better if I start working from the very bottom as a small staff. I working while I went to campus so my days were so busy that time. stressful, pressure, but it also interesting. I get to know many new thing and it fun to be general manager at aged 21 (no nepotism because I got promoted because of my ability and skill). I resigned from my job when I graduated from campus and started to work with others for another year until I decided to have my own business.
I might complain about my work environment, chaos, stressful but there were also nice thing happen in my life. I become maturer and I be more open as individual. After years working as employee, I decided to open my own business.
“Tomorrow is another day and it will be better day than today”
“I live for today, do what should be finish today”
I get inspired from many quotes and gurus (whoever they are. master cheng yen, dalai lama, bubzbeauty, jen frmheadtotoe, ajahn brahm, etc). I really suggest to someone out there, if you are bullying victim, you have problems, just find someone to talk don’t just keep quiet or keep inside yourself. I might lucky because I could change and not be drown in my loneliness and be isolated. I meet some good friends who are always support me and help me out.
I write this post not intend to get sympathized but more to share one of my life experience and hope this gonna help those who seek for help or at least you being inform not much but hope it useful.
Keep smiling (just as I always write in every post)
life is a beautiful place just depend on how you think about it.
See You in next post. have a good time and stay healthy 🙂
azurro4cielo 